Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Minimum Wage

Rip open the borders, I say! Build a vast network of walking bridges across the Rio Grande and welcome these doe-eyed dreamers with open arms! Balls International Industries will have a fleet of cargo vans waiting to whisk away our new work force to our pristine facilities! Nothing would please me more than to issue a proclamation to fire the entire tawdry pack of union-loving jackals that is devouring our shareholders’ profits and suckling at the teat of the Balls fortune! No more bottom-feeding whistle blowers! Long forgotten will be the whiny, safety goggle-donning, naysaying OSHA devotees! And a special farewell to the vacation-loving, health insurance-needing, Facebook-trolling-on-company-time weasels who flee the building at the [Read the rest of this article...]