Posts Tagged ‘congress’

To my newly elected Tea Party minions, Balls offers a word of caution. It will be tempting for you to believe that it was your razor-sharp wit and extraordinary good looks that earned your seats in the hallowed chambers of Congress. Nothing could be further from the truth! On the contrary, my friends, you were elected solely because Balls and a handful of friends chose to bankroll your campaigns with the reasonable expectation of a healthy return on our investment! While Balls at times has donated vast sums of money to worthy charities in the past completely out of philanthropic motives, this is most certainly not one of those times. In other words, the time has come for Balls to extract his pound of flesh. [Read the rest of this article...]

Balls finds it rather amusing that even the most hardcore tax-and-spend lunatics now recognize that we must finally come to our fiscal senses! Even their socialist heros in Europe are taking the ax to spending in the interest of self-preservation. However, the lackeys in Congress also understand all too well that cutting spending will inevitably alienate some group of their constituents. Which groups of constituents are most likely to experience the sharp edge of the ax? [Read the rest of this article...]