Posts Tagged ‘B.Thaddeus-Balls’

Ballsy Predictions for 2011

Ballsy Predictions for 2011

Balls, on the other hand, will here publish a list of specific, measurable predictions for 2011 and encourage readers to monitor progress throughout the New Year. If any of my predictions fail to come to pass I will stage a public stoning on the grounds of the Balls estate, much to the delight of my many enemies around the globe. I promise that the highly hyped pay-per-view stoning, should it take place, will also manage to somehow materially marginalize the city of Cleveland. Here are ten predictions guaranteed to come to pass in 2011: [Read the rest of this article...]

An Open Letter to Julian Assange from B Thaddeus Balls

An Open Letter to Julian Assange from B Thaddeus Balls

A cursory reading of your latest work reaffirms my fervent belief that governments around the world are populated with hordes of nitwits plucked from the unhappy end of the bell curve. Now these nitwits, particularly those of American persuasion, are mad as hornets and determined to bring your spying days to a swift and painful ending. Take comfort in knowing that their full fervor and resources have been directed at finding a 6’5” dialysis patient for the last nine years with nary a trace of success! [Read the rest of this article...]

Extend Unemployment Benefits? Balls Thinks Not

Extend Unemployment Benefits? Balls Thinks Not

The temporary reprieve we have recently enjoyed from the maniacal spending on Capitol Hill came to a predictable and painful end today, when the leftys in charge swore in their newest embezzler! Newbie West Virginia Senator Carte Goodwin, aptly named since Democrats always put the spending cart in front of the fiscal horse, cast the vote to break a heroic Republican filibuster. [Read the rest of this article...]

Balls and the Southern Vote

Balls and the Southern Vote

Nonetheless, Balls has a deep appreciation for the propensity of my southern friends to vote my way every election day! All Balls has to do is run a few low-budget ads mentioning a homosexual here or a threatened fetus there to mobilize millions of blue collar southerners to gleefully support cutting capital gains, slashing regulations on business, ending the estate tax, expanding offshore drilling, etc., etc.! Unlike my Great Grandfather, Balls is grateful for political allies wherever they happen to live in this great country of ours! Perhaps Jethro and Balls can do-si-do down to the polls this November and together usher in the age of the glorious flat tax! -Balls [Read the rest of this article...]

Eye of the Tiger

Eye of the Tiger

The most recent jobs report was as dreary and dismal as Balls predicted. The only two occupations in the US that showed notable growth were census workers and bird washers! The much-hyped stimulus plan of this wrong-headed administration has stimulated nothing but fear in the hearts of small business owners like Balls. It is apparent [Read the rest of this article...]

General-Purpose Stooge Needed

General-Purpose Stooge Needed

Balls International Industries has an opening available for a stooge. Primary undercover role will be to infiltrate employee cliques and report back to management, but other misc. stooging is expected. The successful candidate will exude shiftiness, excel at backstabbing, and must be a natural liar. [Read the rest of this article...]

Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

Episode 16: Mitt & Me; 2 Peas in a Pod!

Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

Animated Balls: A New Frontier!

Piers Morgan & the White House Conspire Against Alex Jones!

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