‘Politics’ Articles

Bin Laden Is Dead, Cheney Did It

Bin Laden Is Dead, Cheney Did It

FoxNews.com is trumpeting that "Gitmo Played Role In Bin Laden Death" and, "Cheney Says Enhanced Interrogation Probably Led to Bin Laden Death". Sure, and Donald Trump's hair is the key to our national security. Former co-president Cheney, if you recall, was clear in his assessment that Obama had made the United States less safe by ending the use of enhanced interrogation. [Read the rest of this article...]

Decision 2012: The GOP Candidates Stake Their Claims

Decision 2012: The GOP Candidates Stake Their Claims

But why dwell on the rank ignorance of a once proud institution of our democracy, when we can focus instead on the pure comedy of those who Republican primary voters will have to choose a standard-bearer from in two years? It may be something like a NASCAR fan watching a wreck on the high oval, but what the heck! So hear we go...live from the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California (if he is still conservative enough in two years time); its the first GOP Presidential Debate for the 2012 Primary! Take it away, Chris Wallace! [Read the rest of this article...]

Confessions Of The Monumentally Stupid

Confessions Of The Monumentally Stupid

Humans often say very foolish things; politicians are defined by their general inability to always say very foolish things. As we come to the end of an earth-shattering week of political tomfoolery, I think its important we chronicle some of the best of the dumbest. There is no doubt that this Confessions of the Monumentally Stupid has a very good chance to be the first Confessions of the Monumentally Stupid. Let's hope so; they are only too easy to write. [Read the rest of this article...]

It’s Obama’s Fault, Again

It’s Obama’s Fault, Again

The news of the week suggests that liberals now want to drink from the same vat of Kool-Aid. A slew of interest groups have spent 2010 lining up for the chance to punch the President; pass my greatest legislative fantasy, or I will declare you a failure, or a coward, or a charlatan, and send you back to the wilderness. Please note also that every liberal dream is always the most important liberal dream. Environmental liberals, LGBT activists, anti-poverty advocates, the Darfur crowd, union protectionists...no more are they forced to argue over who has a seat at the head of the table. If the President is unable to make all of their wishes come true (within one 22 month period), then the lobbies vast will tear out his throat and leave him to [Read the rest of this article...]

A Friendly Reminder to my Tea Party Victors

A Friendly Reminder to my Tea Party Victors

To my newly elected Tea Party minions, Balls offers a word of caution. It will be tempting for you to believe that it was your razor-sharp wit and extraordinary good looks that earned your seats in the hallowed chambers of Congress. Nothing could be further from the truth! On the contrary, my friends, you were elected solely because Balls and a handful of friends chose to bankroll your campaigns with the reasonable expectation of a healthy return on our investment! While Balls at times has donated vast sums of money to worthy charities in the past completely out of philanthropic motives, this is most certainly not one of those times. In other words, the time has come for Balls to extract his pound of flesh. [Read the rest of this article...]

High Unemployment is a Good Thing, Indeed!

High Unemployment is a Good Thing, Indeed!

Half-wit economists have been running around with their hair on fire screaming bloody murder simply because of the high unemployment rate persisting among the great unwashed. These delusional nerds are acting as if their Dr. Who program had been temporarily interrupted with a football game! In spite of the misleading rubbish being passed off by “scholars” and the unappealing smell of desperation emanating from the masses, high unemployment rates are actually quite pleasant! [Read the rest of this article...]

Remember Reform: Health Care 101

Remember Reform: Health Care 101

Leading into next weak, the message that fence-sitters need to understand is that real progress was made by the passage of Affordable Care Act. Children with preexisting conditions can purchase insurance, adults will have the privilege beginning next year. Rescission has been banned, so insurers must now honor their plans unless fraud can be proved. The steady increase in the amount of premiums held back as profits, instead of being paid as benefits, has been halted. These benefits must be drilled into the minds of those who plan to vote, and those who don't see the point of voting. Even leaving health care aside, the student loan reform that was included in the final passage has pumped billions out of private banks and into pockets of [Read the rest of this article...]

Will Liberals Come To Their Senses?

Will Liberals Come To Their Senses?

Turnout, turnout, turnout. Every vote in every district will count. It is important to remind ourselves of this, because thousands of conservative blogs are being posted with the same general message. Turnout, turnout, turnout. Every friend, neighbor, or coworker that you convinced to vote in 2008 needs to be challenged this week. Turnout, turnout, turnout. It has been an ugly two years filled with occasional success bad bracketed by bitter failure. The last question remaining for the most prolonged, painful, embarrassing, and expensive midterm cycle in American history is a simple one. Will Liberals come out to vote? Will Liberals come to their senses? [Read the rest of this article...]

Blackjack: 21 Days To Zero

Blackjack: 21 Days To Zero

Republicans haven't satisfied themselves with just turning back progressive legislation, they have redoubled their attacks on the working class. This year, teachers, state troopers, firefighters, police officers, and every single other state or municipal worker represented by a union and making a decent wage have come under attack. In 1984, Ronald Reagan and the Republicans showed that they had the resolve to weather the storm of the '82 midterms, and proceeded to destroy the once central position of manufacturing in our nation. Under their leadership, shipbuilding, steel-making, and most of the appliance industry left the United States. What will Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Speaker of the House John Boehner, and committee chairs like [Read the rest of this article...]

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Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

Episode 16: Mitt & Me; 2 Peas in a Pod!

Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

Animated Balls: A New Frontier!

Piers Morgan & the White House Conspire Against Alex Jones!

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