‘B.T. Balls’ POV’ Articles

E2012: Occupy Wall Street

E2012: Occupy Wall Street

In part two of Balls' ongoing animated series, the office discussion turns toward the "Occupy Wall Street" demonstrations and its harmful rhetoric for those 'job-creating' corporate heroes at the top. [Read the rest of this article...]

E2012: Idle Chatter Around the Water Cooler

E2012: Idle Chatter Around the Water Cooler

Balls captures the idle chatter of twits conversing about the 2012 Presidential Election. [Read the rest of this article...]

Ballsy Predictions for 2011

Ballsy Predictions for 2011

Balls, on the other hand, will here publish a list of specific, measurable predictions for 2011 and encourage readers to monitor progress throughout the New Year. If any of my predictions fail to come to pass I will stage a public stoning on the grounds of the Balls estate, much to the delight of my many enemies around the globe. I promise that the highly hyped pay-per-view stoning, should it take place, will also manage to somehow materially marginalize the city of Cleveland. Here are ten predictions guaranteed to come to pass in 2011: [Read the rest of this article...]

An Open Letter to Julian Assange from B Thaddeus Balls

An Open Letter to Julian Assange from B Thaddeus Balls

A cursory reading of your latest work reaffirms my fervent belief that governments around the world are populated with hordes of nitwits plucked from the unhappy end of the bell curve. Now these nitwits, particularly those of American persuasion, are mad as hornets and determined to bring your spying days to a swift and painful ending. Take comfort in knowing that their full fervor and resources have been directed at finding a 6’5” dialysis patient for the last nine years with nary a trace of success! [Read the rest of this article...]

A Friendly Reminder to my Tea Party Victors

A Friendly Reminder to my Tea Party Victors

To my newly elected Tea Party minions, Balls offers a word of caution. It will be tempting for you to believe that it was your razor-sharp wit and extraordinary good looks that earned your seats in the hallowed chambers of Congress. Nothing could be further from the truth! On the contrary, my friends, you were elected solely because Balls and a handful of friends chose to bankroll your campaigns with the reasonable expectation of a healthy return on our investment! While Balls at times has donated vast sums of money to worthy charities in the past completely out of philanthropic motives, this is most certainly not one of those times. In other words, the time has come for Balls to extract his pound of flesh. [Read the rest of this article...]

High Unemployment is a Good Thing, Indeed!

High Unemployment is a Good Thing, Indeed!

Half-wit economists have been running around with their hair on fire screaming bloody murder simply because of the high unemployment rate persisting among the great unwashed. These delusional nerds are acting as if their Dr. Who program had been temporarily interrupted with a football game! In spite of the misleading rubbish being passed off by “scholars” and the unappealing smell of desperation emanating from the masses, high unemployment rates are actually quite pleasant! [Read the rest of this article...]

Running Government Like a Business! Part 2

Running Government Like a Business! Part 2

The slacker provides a list of personal assets to the banker: a Burning Man T-Shirt, a broken Playstation 2, and a worn-out bong. When pressed for how he plans to make his mortgage payments, the slacker mutters something about needing his own space and getting his old part-time job back at the local Jiffy Lube. After slacker boy requests cash out at settlement, our astute banker friend chuckles and prepares to let the young man down gently. However, as soon as the word “No” forms on the banker’s lips he receives an urgent call from Nancy Pelosi... [Read the rest of this article...]

Running Government Like a Business! Part 1

Running Government Like a Business! Part 1

Not one of these jokers has ever met a payroll, measured return on investment, or outsourced operations to a third world hellhole to juice quarterly earnings. Now that this crowd has had their turn at playing house, we need an uncompromising new leader from the business community to take back our country - a CEO with the guts to step up to the plate, get our house in order, and cut spending to the bone! [Read the rest of this article...]

Anchor Babies

Anchor Babies

Balls will cease and desist from further donations to the TPP if one position held by the faithful is not soon reversed. It seems that the constitution-loving patriots want to repeal the 14th amendment, which is akin to a Bible-toting fundamentalist saying they want to repeal the Book of John! The issue at hand, my friends, is granting U.S. citizenship solely because someone is born in the USA. “Anchor Baby” is a pejorative term used to describe the blessed event of a future Balls International Industries employee being born into a family of current, less legal Balls International employees. [Read the rest of this article...]

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Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

Episode 16: Mitt & Me; 2 Peas in a Pod!

Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

Animated Balls: A New Frontier!

Piers Morgan & the White House Conspire Against Alex Jones!

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