Tattoo Rearrangement

Recently at one of these country markets that feature everything under the sun for sale, as well as attract every kind of person on the planet, one particularly brief, but fascinating conversation occurred between one of the vendors hawking his wares and the two people who were interested in his product. This conversation was a standard “pitch” until the final question when the whole thing came to a complete and jolting stop.

The product was magnets. Magical magnets. Magical, pain relieving magnets. Per the vendor, these magnets rearrange your electrons around whatever ails you, thus increasing the blood flow and washing the pain away. Claims of “miracle healing” and “they now call me an angel” healing within ten minutes were a part of the pitch. For the most part, the people who were interested in this product did, in fact, have ailments. How bad the ailments were is anybody’s guess, but when you are in pain, particularly nagging pain that just never ceases, any possible solution is worth the time to investigate.

However, regardless of whether this type of treatment actually works, how well it works, and if it works for you versus other people is pure speculation. There are all types of companies selling magnets on the internet to relieve pain, so somebody somewhere is happier today than they were yesterday because their pain has mercifully eased. Good for them. Now, whatever rearranging of electrons these miracle magnets do internally, there are things they do not do externally. Like rearrange tattos.

This young couple who appeared not to be on drugs or alcohol, were getting “the pitch” on the pain relief methods and were systematically moving down the sales line. Until they had a great concern. Asking the vendor, if what you say is true, that these magnets are oh so powerful that they rearrange the inner working of blood, will they rearrange our tattos? This was an important question.

The magnets being sold were designed to be worn as bracelets, so any altering of tattoos would be most significant on and near your wrists and/or ankles. Of course, you could always put the bracelets on other parts of your body to rearrange blood and whatever else needs adjustment. Nevertheless, while being a very important question to the two ailees, the vendor was not amused. His “pitch” was thrown off course and could not get back on the track becasue he realized reasoning would never break through these two inquisitive minds.

In tattooland, ink is injected into the skin and can not be removed. This be a fact. This matter is a whole nother subject on elaborate tattoo art being painted onto tight, youthful bodies, when inevitably these artworks begin to obey the indisputable laws of gravity, time, and aging, and in turn, create new art from the old art. But the ink spots do not switch places with the other spots. They don’t. They can’t. It is not within their power to make the switch. They may want to: I’ve been here for 10 years and desire to be on the other side of this ink spot next to me; that is of course, if ink spots think. Which, this couple, may believe too. But for argument sake, let’s assume that the inner workings of tattoos neither think nor have the ability to switch places.

Except to this couple. The vendor had successfully implanted into their malleable minds that his magical magnets could alter their bodies. This thought logically led them to the horrifying fact that if these things could alter what’s inside and hidden, well, it goes without saying that it could alter what’s on the outside! Gadzuke!

In answering their very serious, very concerned question about tattoo chaos, the vendor just ever so briefly, instantaneously hesitated. He unconsciously tilted his head and stared at his formerly potential customers and realized he was talking to a pair of voids. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this most minute  moment of recognition was worth the price of admission. His eyes squinted, he assessed his lost cause and simply said, “No. No they do not.”

This bright, youthful pair would have none of that! If these things can alter blood, by God they can alter anything. Instinctively they began to back away from the vendor, now fearing that even being next to the devices from the Devil himself would destroy whatever artwork they had labored to inject internally. They could not get away fast enough. Quickly turning, they disappeared into the crowd, searching for funnel cakes and french fries.

The vendor just stared after them with a confused, stern scowl. He was not sure if he had just met aliens or what. No matter, it was just a matter of time before more people would be introduced to magical, miracle magnets.

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