Archive for July, 2010

Balls and the Southern Vote

Balls and the Southern Vote

Nonetheless, Balls has a deep appreciation for the propensity of my southern friends to vote my way every election day! All Balls has to do is run a few low-budget ads mentioning a homosexual here or a threatened fetus there to mobilize millions of blue collar southerners to gleefully support cutting capital gains, slashing regulations on business, ending the estate tax, expanding offshore drilling, etc., etc.! Unlike my Great Grandfather, Balls is grateful for political allies wherever they happen to live in this great country of ours! Perhaps Jethro and Balls can do-si-do down to the polls this November and together usher in the age of the glorious flat tax! -Balls [Read the rest of this article...]

‘What’s His Plan Son’

‘What’s His Plan Son’

It was one of those classic lines in cinema; Fred Thompson's kindly but gruff rebuke of Alec Baldwin's Jack Ryan. "What's his plan son? Ruskies don't take a dump without a plan, and senior commanders don't start something this risky without having thought the matter out." Of course, since Fred left acting to return to politics, the notion of "thinking the matter through" seems to have left the Party that he loves. What a shame. [Read the rest of this article...]

Health Care Reform: The Future Is Now

Health Care Reform: The Future Is Now

The final passage of the Affordable Care Act of 2010 was the ultimate anti-climax. The cornerstone of the law, its exchanges, will not go live until 2014. In addition, many of the elements of legislation promised for this year, are subject to the rules written by the Secretary of Health and Human Services. The insurance industry will likely press those rules to test for weakness, and Republicans are trying to mount a campaign for repeal. No friends, passage was just the beginning of the process. [Read the rest of this article...]

Dynamics of Divisiveness: Re-Defining Our Shift to the Right

Dynamics of Divisiveness: Re-Defining Our Shift to the Right

Engaging in baby talk with one another, and ignoring historical realities will not save us from what will be a continued degradation of our security, prosperity, humanity and dignity, promoting catastrophic damage to the earth and its inhabitants all in the name of Corporatism. We are all benign to the fact that our political system has drifted far to what was once considered the right. There is no more left in the traditional sense. There is no more right as we define it. There is a one party system that is gaining more and more control as we continue to divide ourselves. The creatures that inhabit our political system -- the politicians -- are just as blind as the rest of us as they allow themselves to do the bidding of the [Read the rest of this article...]

Russian Spies, Shock and Awe

Russian Spies, Shock and Awe

Ready the bomb shelters! Stock up on SPAM and surgical masks! Let the students rehearse “duck and cover” once more! Boris walks among us! The question is not if, but when, the Ruskie nukes will fly! The only hope that stands between our beloved way of life as we know it and armageddon is a massive preemptive attack on the Russian Bear! [Read the rest of this article...]

Just Sweet

Just Sweet

Eliminating all hope for beautiful nakedness jingling and bobbing, up and down, back and forth, a booma booma through the cold, hard streets of Paraguay. But alas poor sailors, we have all been saved by her magnanimous gesture to run naked anyway. Such personal self-sacrifice is an inspiration for all of us. [Read the rest of this article...]

Probing Pigeon Poster

Probing Pigeon Poster

There, we get to see, in living color, whatever had been living and growing inside another human being. It is now out of that person and on display for the rest of mankind. For some people, this is not a concern. While for others, it is as close to death as we want to get. The sights, smells, and even sounds from next door, make a very natural daily occurrence, an extremely difficult act of courage, skill, and determination. [Read the rest of this article...]

Consume. That’s What Good Americans Do.

Consume. That’s What Good Americans Do.

If your Ford F-150 has a little mud on the tires, hell, trade up for a new one just like Tobey Kieth says -- or does he whore for Chevy? It doesn't really matter what you buy, how you buy or where you buy as long as you jumpstart the economy by putting more useless shit into your home or your stomach or your saggy tits. Come on, who doesn't need a breast implant? Jesus loves big knockers; and so does Uncle Sam. So go forth and consume!! [Read the rest of this article...]

Road Trip Memories; Dad And Me

Road Trip Memories; Dad And Me

It was a nearly perfect trip, with nearly perfect memories. We didn’t see everything we wanted to, or do everything we planned to, but we spent the better part of eight great days together. Come to think of it, there were just three things keeping it from being perfect; a game of catch, a game of chess, and some toasted peanut butter sandwiches. [Read the rest of this article...]

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Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

Episode 16: Mitt & Me; 2 Peas in a Pod!

Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

Animated Balls: A New Frontier!

Piers Morgan & the White House Conspire Against Alex Jones!

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