Food, Glorius Food + Stone

ESPN just did an expose on stadium food. 107 stadiums used by all of the major league sports teams. As you would expect, inspectors found just about everything, including nothing at all. In Chicago, at all four sports venues, inspectors inspect when there is no one present – no food, no people, no nothing. Shockingly, they found no violations. That’s how they do it in Middle America.

In The Big Apple, Madison Square Garden made up for what they lacked in the Windy Second City – “53 mouse excreta” on top of a soda dispenser and underneath a cash register. Realistically, that could have been accomplished by a single mouse. They are prolific in their droppings. Still, cleaning up an area with public mice poop exhibitions would seem like a good idea and really would not take much effort. Across the East River in Queens at Citi Field, inspectors found 20 pounds of chicken resting at 70 degrees in a “refrigerator”, approximately 30 degrees higher than required. Considering the uproar about chicken and the myriad of diseases that it can carry and spread, cooked or not, Mets fans eating spoiled chicken would put their focus elsewhere and not on their teams 3rd place foibles.

In the Rockies, Phorid flies, sometimes known as coffin flies, were found in a bottle of cognac at The Pepsi Center. These little boogers get their name from digging six feet deep to get something to eat. Further west in California’s 12 venues, the worst violation was found at the Staples Center where nearly 10 pounds of sushi had to be destroyed because it was stored at too warm of a temperature.  Ouuu, decaying sushi…that would make the Mets bad chicken problems seem like a mild gastronomic disturbance by comparison. Eeek!

If bad sushi and chicken doesn’t turn you off, this will – the Candwich…a sandwich in a can. A sandwich in a can? If you are so inept or lazy or both, that the process of making a sandwich is beyond your abilities, then you do not desire to eat. The New York Times reports that the Candwich remains in development and may be ready to market by the end of the year, yet, who wants it? Eating some of those vending machine mystification’s that you find in factories, office buildings, and airports stretch the limits of quick cuisine pretty far, but then to go one step further and stuff ’em in a can?

Look at the picture on the right. Maybe a chicken (leftover Citi Field poultry???) BBQ sandwich can tax someones culinary skills on the run, but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? We’re talking Intro to Sandwich Making 101. I have known people who would starve before they’d make themselves something to eat…they were food-prep challenged. Boiling water? Just too complex. So maybe a sandwich in a can is just the ticket for these people…provided, of course, that they can open a flip-top can.

And then there is San Francisco. Here The City’s finest closed down a lemonade and brownies stand. It wasn’t the fact that the brownies were legit and not laced with special herbs and oils. Nor was it that two kids were running the stand at a San Francisco Symphony event. It was that the men in blue were shutting down all of the other vendors at the event due to licensing violations and could not allow the kids to make money while chasing off all of the others. From a headline standpoint, it’s like taking an excerpt from the Shirley Sherrod speech out of context: San Francisco Cops Shut Down Kids Lemonade Stand.

Finally, in a non-food area, Hollywood Director Oliver Stone has called that good ol’ boy Adolf Hitler a scapegoat. A scapegoat? Der Stone sez that the Jewish lobby in DC is all-powerful and works very hard to keep their image clean. I may be confused here, but it was my impression that all DC lobbyist groups are paid cold, hard cash to do that for their clients. Oil, Tele-Communications, Automotive, etc., etc., etc.

Stone goes on to say the Hitler did far worse by killing 25 to 30 million Russians. You can’t argue with his math. About 6 million Jews, or about one quarter the amount of Rooskies annihilated, were selected and murdered in Germany. Then what about Kaing Guek Eav, alias Duch, who is credited with killing 14,000 people in a torture prison during the Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia? Granted, 14K is a pittance when comparing blanket violent killing, but a thousand dead here, another ten thousand there, and pretty soon you hit a million or two.

It is well known, to the point of self-parodies, that Oliver Stone runs “freely” with the facts in his films, so as to steer the audience towards a pre-determined destination, regardless if the “facts” are true or not. Reminds me some other film maker whose work I’ve studied: Nazi Minister of Enlightenment, Dr. Joseph Goebbels. What goes around comes around.

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Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

Episode 16: Mitt & Me; 2 Peas in a Pod!

Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

Animated Balls: A New Frontier!

Piers Morgan & the White House Conspire Against Alex Jones!

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