Bits and Pieces

A little old lady was leisurely walking through a farmer’s market on a bright, sunny Saturday morning, wearing a baseball cap with ANNA MARIA ISLAND written on the front in bold, capital letters. As she approached one of the vegetable stands, the vendor asked her, “Hi. So where is Anna Maria Island?” Excitedly she replied, “Are you kidding? Are you kidding!” The vendor replied, “No, I’m not kidding. Where is Anna Maria Island?” This sent the gentle, elderly woman into a lengthy discourse on the island’s history, population, location, geography, and whatnot. She was very excited to talk about the island off the coast of Florida.

When finished, she asked the vendor, “But how did you know I was from Ana Maria Island?” With a polite grin and pointing at her forehead, the vendor replied, “It’s written on your baseball cap.” Her eyes grew large, confusion rained onto her face, and then she grabbed the bill of her cap, took it off and turned it to see for herself. “Oh my.” And just as quickly turned and disappeared. Sweet thing she was.

Elsewhere, Lindsay Lohan will soon be visiting her new home at a Los Angeles County Jail for a brief stay. It is expected that she’ll be released early, just like all other non-violent prisoners. So, the 90-day sentence could be cut to 2 to 4 weeks. Paris Hilton, a former visitor, spent 23 days of a 45 day sentence, which actually was an extended sentence. The public was in mock uproar when she was released early, but the warden kept her longer than normal expecting a public outcry. Nevertheless, Miss Lohan will be fashionably dressed in a jumpsuit along with 1800 other close, personal friends. Her living quarters will be shared with a “roommate”, a 12′ x 8′ cell with two bunks, an open toilet, a sink, stool, and a tabletop. Hope she enjoys her company because she’ll be spending approximately 22 hours a day in that 96 sq. foot area.  Talking about her incarceration, Paris said she spent the first few nights in hysterics in the fetal position, sleepless. Lindsay has much to look forward to.

And yet still elsewhere, Jon Bon Jovi tore a calf muscle on stage Friday night, performing in his home state of New Jersey. These days, a 48 year old rocker is no big deal, but ripping and tearing is always painful, regardless of age. The sports team owner and philanthropist says the injury will not deter him from completing the current tour. Sure enough, tickets continue to sell and there’s no break in the action.

And blessed be the name of Jehovah, it’s hot dog month! Oh baby, grab your wiener’s and slap on some sauce. Most towns have a favorite hot dog place that specializes in grilled wieners, fast and easy. Calorie count and health have never been a concern in this area, and we need not discuss it here. These “greasy spoons” tend to be pretty basic, although some places that make The Travel Channel’s on-the-road shows appear a little more upscale, but not by much.

If you are on the East Coast for a summer drive-by history tour, a suggested stop where the “local folk” eat is Ernie’s Texas Lunch in Gettysburg, PA. If Ernie’s was open in November 1863, Lincoln would have eaten here.  “Two with everything” will get you a delicious, heart-challenging dog with chili sauce, onions, and just enough other stuff to make the trip worthwhile. Just down the street from the town’s main square on Chambersburg street, the very street that them rebellious Rebel’s came charging into town, you will not find many tourists here. Sitting is limited to a few old, hard wood booths and some stools at the counter.  Think 1930’s. It’s a great place to eat.

So there ya have it. We’ve covered bits and pieces from little old ladies, to LiLo and Paris Hilton, Bon Jovi “breaking a leg” (theatrical reference –  kinda sorta) on stage, to hot dog month to Ernie’s Texas Lunch in Gettysburg. And by the way, according to reliable sources, LiLo will not be eating warm, plump, tasty weiner’s in the slammer. Her only hot meal of the day will be an early dinner of processed chicken, called “erasers” by the inmates. Now think about this: a meal with hot dogs is an upgrade from the stuff they serve in California jails. That’s hard to fathom, except if you are a hot dog manufacturer whom has just been insulted by suggesting that their food is not quite on the up-and-up. Hot dogs are great to eat – just don’t go digging around for the ingredients.

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Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

Episode 16: Mitt & Me; 2 Peas in a Pod!

Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

Animated Balls: A New Frontier!

Piers Morgan & the White House Conspire Against Alex Jones!

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