Just Sweet

Larissa Riquelme has decided to run naked anyway. Blessed be the girl. The Paraguayan lingerie model has decided that despite her favorite World Cup team taking one in the teeth when those nasty Spaniards beat Paraguay on the way to their first World Cup final ever, she will run naked through the streets of Asuncion as a present to all of the players, and all of the people in Paraguay to enjoy.

Whew, that was a close one. Larissa had promised to run naked if Paraguay had won the World Cup…but they failed! Eliminating all hope for beautiful nakedness jingling and bobbing, up and down, back and forth, a booma booma through the cold, hard streets of Paraguay. But alas poor sailors, we have all been saved by her magnanimous gesture to run naked anyway. Such personal self-sacrifice is an inspiration for all of us. Now we know that the FCC and American broadcasters will not dare air this mini-mini-marathon due to laws on indecency, not to mention the various do-gooder organizations that protect us poor folk from disturbing images and even worse language, like the Parents Television Council.

The PTC is a conservative activist group who is in the business of telling the rest of society what is good or bad to watch on the telly.  On paper, they protect our children from vulgar and obscene televisions shows. While that’s all well and good, we all could be even more successful with our children’s TV habits by simply doing other things. Like reading…OMG, not that! Doing puzzles; playing with an empty box (do you remember how much fun that was at Christmas?); playing games outdoors, working off those Big Macs and super-sized Biggie Fries! OK OK OK, enough is enough.  There are options to watching television. Just turn the freaking thing off. Except of course for World Cup games; World Series games; The Big Game (The S-p-r Bowl is an NFL trademarked name and can not be used without paying them money); or any other game that may come along.

So, it is here that we say a prayer of thanks to the Internet, and Youtube in particular, because it shall be that we shall see sweet Larissa running in her birthday suit, where and whenever that may be. Modern technology…it’s a beautiful thing.

And then there is LiLo, our delicious Disney sweetheart with the little drug, alcohol, driving, and authority problem. As you may have read, she was just sentenced to the slammer for 90 days. Regardless of the fact she had repeatedly skipped her weekly probationary mandates for D&A rehab meetings; was photographed doing cocaine in France where she “lost” her passport (Hey! It could happen. No really. It could.) and kept the judge waiting for a hearing…again, and then painted F**k U on her fingernails at the hearing, knowing full well that she’d get worldwide coverage for her personal message to whomever.

After the sentencing (Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel did the deed), one morning news anchor commented on Lindsay Lohan’s stunned reactions and tears, She didn’t take the verdict too well. I guess not. People whom are removed from reality on a regular basis tend to fair poorly when reintroduced to reality, especially when reality moves from beautiful people’s party central to a jail cell with a roommate who wants to be called Spike. Video showed Lindsay’s reaction of dismay, similar to a trapped animal. It’s painful to watch.

Others whom were not previously familiar with prison before their extended stay have said that the stark, frightening situation comes to light on the first full night in jail after you’ve been marched into your cell and the door slams and locks behind you. The security level of the prison is meaningless when personal freedom is removed. It can only be imagined by those who have been forced to endure the nightmare, particularly when the crutches of mind-altering substances have been removed, and the only remaining vision is a front row seat looking through metal bars. This is LiLo’s immediate future. She is to report to imprisonment later in July.

So there you have it, the highs and lows of beautiful females in the news today. For some of us, we’ll keep an eye on Lindsay to see how she handles herself in the days leading up to her incarceration. For most of us, we’ll focus both eyes on Larissa and her jog au naturale. Then of course, there’s that poor Muslim female in Iran whose been sentenced to being stoned to death for adultery. That makes jail-time look pretty darn attractive, doesn’t it.

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Animated Balls: Election 2012

Episode 1: It's Hard to Choose Just One

Episode 2: Occupy Wall Street

Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

Episode 5: Newt is Forgiven

Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

Episode 7: Why We Must Elect Rick!

Episode 8: Don't Make Me Use the "S" Word!

Episode 9: Santorum & Obamaville

Episode 10: Settle for Mitt!

Episode 12: Austerity and Obama's Debt!

Episode 13: From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Episode 14: Ryan is a Bold Choice for VP!

Episode 15: Mitt Romney's Taxes

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Episode 17: Mitt and the 47%

Episode 18: The PA Voter ID Law

Episode 19: The Boss is Running!

Episode 20: Benghazi Has Legs

Episode 21: Grover, the NRA, and the GOP

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