The Pope Smokes Dope

Not really. It’s an old hippie joke. But somethings happening in Vatican City with some kind of wacky weed. The Pontiff has named the 1980 classic film hit The Blues Brothers as a Catholic Classic. A catholic classic? Fans know that brothers Joliet Jake (Dan Akyroyd) and Elwood Blues (John Belushi) were on a mission from God to save the catholic orphanage where they grew up. But they also know that there was a serious cocaine problem on the set with Mr. Belushi that only escalated with time until his death from extreme binging in 1982. Considering that the entire movie was based on drug, alcohol and rock’n’roll jokes, it is somewhat perplexing that the Vatican’s official newspaper, L’Osservatore, puts this film in the same esteemed company as Cecil B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments and Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. I wonder what former National Rifle Association President Charlton Heston (Moses; Ben Hur; Marc Antony) would say to his new compatriots in the Vatican’s Movie Hall of Fame.

More absurdity. He’s famous, known worldwide, and in jail for the alleged murder of Stephany Flores in Lima, Peru. Oh yeah, and there’s that little missing person case back home in Aruba with Natalee Holloway, 18, disappearing in May 2005 on a graduation trip from Alabama. Joran van der Sloot says he’s getting love letters in prison and even a request from a woman to have his baby. This may or may not be true because Mr. Van Der Sloot has been known to fib previously. In fact, earlier this week his mommy said that Jorny is mentally unstable and an official report called him emotionally immature. So there is a fairly consistent consensus that The Sloot is dangerous, particularly to women.

Which begs the question, why would other women want to marry him and have his baby? Of course, there is no accounting for taste, but there is precedent elsewhere that the crime only enhances ones stature in some admirers eyes. Convicted serial killer Charles Manson has a fan base. Have you ever seen any interviews from Charlie Manson? NBC’s The Today Show aired a series of interviews with Manson in 1987 from San Quentin State Prison. NBC caught a raft of criticism for giving air time to a psychopath on morning TV in America. However, after watching and listening to Manson, let there be no doubt whatsoever that that guy belongs safely tucked away from the rest of society in a sturdy, locked, prison cell. Ooga booga; is he nuts?

But he had predecessors. Ed Gein killed 15 women between 1947 and 1957. As the inspiration for two blockbuster movies, Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho and the 1991 Jonathan Demme thriller Silence of the Lambs, Gein’s prefered methods with his victims were skinning them, exhuming them from their graves, and then decorating his house with them. No head problems here.

Moving forward in time, Ted Bundy confessed to 40 murders between 1974 and 1978 by the time he was executed in 1989. Ted would lure his female victims into his car, club them with a crowbar, rape them, and then straggle them. If that’s not enough, he was known to have returned to his body dump site, apply make-up to his corpses and sleep with them until they began to decay. This is now going way beyond frightening.

Of course there’s plenty more. David Berkowitz as Son of Sam (a dog). John Wayne Gacy in a clown suit handcuffing little boys. Jeffery Dahmer employed torture, forced sodomy, dismemberment, necrophilia, and cannibalism. And this is just the recently highlighted list in the United States.

It seems that we’ve transgressed a long way from the Vatican endorsing The Blues Brothers. And we have. But the point that ties all of this together is craziness. Although some of us are very big fans of this piece of cinema, you must wonder if The Pope has actually seen the movie. It’s just crazy. As is Joran Van Der Sloot – deny; confess; un-confess; I’ll show where Natalee’s body is for $25,000  dollars. And then the parade of certified lunatics merrily slicing and dicing victims, male, female, and kids. All crazy.

Of course, this Vatican endorsement might have been an end-around-reverse trick play to continue to divert attention away from their own global catastrophe – priests abusing little boys. Although the sexual abuse disaster hit the legal system in 2001, it has been going on for at least 50 years. In New Orleans, a TV station broke the story in the early 1990’s which resulted in the firing of the News Director for airing such a despicable story.  One of the findings was that the Bishop did not know what the big deal was since the abuse only encompassed 10% of all the priests in the diocese. Did we mention, it’s just crazy?

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