BP: They Care About the Small People

Honest to God, it doesn’t get any better than this. These people at BP are absolutely clueless in their public relations. The Chairman of BP, Carl-Henric Svaberg, attempting and gloriously succeeding in out-moron-ing his CEO Tony Hayward, told reporters that BP was really, really concerned about destroying the small businesses and their way of life on the Gulf Coast. In his attempts to express his sorrow, he said: I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don’t care, but that is not the case with BP. We care about the small people. The small people!! Leona Helmsley lives!

BP is in the unfortunate position of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  It could have happened to anybody because the short-cuts in safety and cost-cutting operations that these buffoons were taking in the weeks and months and days before their Deepwater Horizon oil rig blew up — blew up real good — are the exact same short-cuts that every other company takes when attempting to save dollars to drive to the bottom line. They could give a flying coitus about society and the environment and anything else because they are, at their root; Money Boys.

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“Money Boys” are the New York gentlemen that brought you the financial collapse of 2008. Remember? All those derivatives and packaged real estate deals that weren’t worth the paper that they were written on? ‘Member…member? Sure ya do. Come on, it wiped out millions of homeowners that should not have owned homes in the first place because they didn’t have the down payments, the jobs, or the wherewithal to pay the monthly fees that we call mortgages.

The reason that these poor, shall we invoke the BP label, small people, went down this road-to-ruin mess in the first place was because the Money Boys needed to make their nut (Profit Budget) and designed ways to screw people to save themselves.  In saving themselves, that meant millions upon millions of bonus dollars for themselves.  Steely Dan said it in their 1973 album, Countdown to Ecstasy about the film industry which can be applied on a much broader basis to Wall Street. On the cut Show Biz Kids, they correctly observed that: Show biz kids making movies of themselves, you know they don’t give a f**k about anybody else.

More proof? In the 1985 director John Huston’s movie, Prizzi’s Honor, hit man Charley Partana (Jack Nicholson) was ordered to hit his wife Irene Walker (Kathleen Turner) over a monetary dispute, The Prizzi’s would rather eat their young than part with their money. Charley was given the order by his father, Angelo Pop Partana (John Randolph), to ice Irene. Here, right here, is the “Money Boy” part: Pop pinched Charlie’s cheek between his thumb and index finger while saying: It’s nothing personal. It’s just business. It’s just business.

That, right there folks, is BP. It’s not personal, it’s just business, all you small people you. Quit your whining and complaining. Listen to Rush Limbaugh as he soothes our souls, saying: The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there. It’s natural. It’s as natural as the ocean water is. Yea yea yea. So what if 5000 barrels a day of oil, err, make that 20,000, err, make that 60,000 barrels of oil a day are gushing in to the Gulf Of Mexico. So what!  The environment and shrimpers and the restaurant owners and the birds and the fish and the resort owners and all of their employees and Ronald Reagan’s trickle-down-theory will all take care of themselves because it is as natural as the ocean water is. Don’t worry, be happy.

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The bottom line here is that we small people are getting destroyed once again (Enron – Bye bye 401k) by the relentless pursuit of bigger, better, faster, bottom lines. We all benefit from continued growth and our capitalistic economy. Let’s be realistic. The majority of people in the United States enjoy indoor plumbing; electricity; air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter. Even the greatest single invention of all time: cold canned beer.

But hey! Something’s gotta give. At this writing, we are at 59 daze of spewing oil from middle Earth into our delicate eco and financial system. In the overall scheme of things, we are all that we’ve got and we’ve better start paying attention. The big Big People don’t care about the small people. That’s why they’re big and the remainder of us are small.  It’s just the way they think and act.

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Episode 3: 999! The Cain Train to Prosperity

Episode 4: Small Government

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Episode 6: A Candidate with Big Balls

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