I’m Too Sexy

Britain’s Right Said Fred topped the American pop charts in 1992 with “I’m Too Sexy”. Fred lamented that he was too sexy for his cat, car, hat, New York, Milan, Japan, among other things, but particularly his shirt. So sexy it hurts.

Well, Citibank in New York apparently feels the same way about one of their employees, ex-employees that is. The New York Daily News reports that Debrahlee Lorenzana is in fact, too sexy for these stuffy bankers.  The curvaceous, 5’ 6”, 125 pound, 33 year young lady was too distracting to her male colleagues.  Defending herself while simultaneously hurling missiles at her former colleagues, Debrahlee says: I can’t help it that I have curves. And I’m not going to go eat and gain 50 or 100 pounds because my job wants me to be the same as everyone else.

The Queens resident has filed a sexual harassment suit against the bank in Manhattan Supreme Court, saying she was told how to dress. They wanted more conservative clothing, while Ms. Lorenzana says she never showed too much skin while dressing professionally. She even pointed out that she would never, ever show cleavage. Citibank says that she was fired over performance issues, not fashion. But her lawyer, Jack Tuckner, of Tuckner Sipser Weinstock & Sipser, says that Citibank could not deal with her because she was just too, good looking.


Now let’s think about that for a moment. Imagine being too good looking for a job. “Well let’s see here. You have years of experience, advanced degrees, and a solid track record of achievement. But I regret to inform you that we cannot keep you on staff. You’re just too good looking!”

Her good looks apparently went unnoticed when J.P. Morgan hired her after Citibank helped her to advance her career elsewhere. But that may be short-lived. Her new employer is threatening to take action if she continues to keep talking publicly about Citibank. And talking she is. Debrahlee appeared on CBS’s The Early Show on June 7th to trash her former bosses on national TV. But not to worry. Her law firm says if she’s fired again, they’ll just sue Morgan, too.

Of course, we all have options to help us navigate through the treacherous fashion minefields of modern day-in and day-out living. Author Judith Martin may have answers in her book: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing and Other Lapses of Civility. With that title, everyone involved in the Citibank/Lorenzana scuffle, and possibly soon-to-enter-the-fray J.P. Morgan, could learn something of value.

But frivolous lawsuits are not limited to your plain old Tom, Dick, and Jane. Lawyers Weekly USA reported in 2006 that a California federal judge awarded in excess of $1 million to a Pasadena law firm because the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, you read that right, the federal government’s EEOC, had unsuccessfully sued the firm for sexual harassment and pregnancy discrimination. U.S. District Court Judge Dickran Tevrizian wrote in his 17-page ruling that the EEOC suit was: frivolous and without foundation.


On the other hand, here is a relatively recent salacious sexual harassment suit. The Smoking Gun reported that they had obtained a legal document that says former New York Met/ Philadelphia Phillie and investment guru Lenny Dykstra is being sued by his former Estate Manager/Personal Assistant.  It seems that Mr. Dykstra may have been somewhat confused with handling baseballs and his assistant’s breasts.  The suit claims that Dykstra was fondling her while trying to push her onto the bed. Aggressively continuing forward, Dykstra allegedly told her that she could stay the night if she gave him a blow job.  If true, at least Dykstra cannot be accused of being indirect.  Perhaps Lenny was just following Napoleon Bonaparte’s military advice: Any order than can be misinterpreted, will be misinterpreted, and he was simply attempting to be helpful in seeking clarity.

So folks, the moral to these stories are that one must be very careful in the workplace or you could be part of a sexual harassment suit because you created and/or enhanced a hostile working environment. These environments are tricky though.  You could tell a joke to a friend, but if it’s overheard by a neighbor, even a distant neighbor who is “offended”, BINGO! Suit time. You might have an innocent habit of unconsciously scratching your naked leg below the knee, but if someone thinks that you are doing this as a sexual come on to them, BINGO! Suit time. Or, you could be caught with over 3400 pictures of pornography on your employer-owned computer, as one recent U.S. National Park Service Superintendent was, and NOT sued or fired?!? They just moved him to another office…minus the 3400 pictures.  Go figure.

And then of course, you just might be too damn good looking. Be careful out there.


Copyright:  Curl Publishing Incorporated. Cannot be reproduced or republished without the written or implied consent of Curl Publishing Incorporated.


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